I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Come see our sink grown plant.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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