How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
