im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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