East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
