i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
