I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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