literally had 100 drinks last night.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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