Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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