i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's the barista slut.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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