so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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