Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
