We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
