I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
