My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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