I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
