I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
there is glitter all over my balls
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