Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
