What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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