Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
