She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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