I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
