so that wasnt chicken after all
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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