I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
