Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
