White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I need to stop coming to work sober
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
