I am puke
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
