My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
