She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
