I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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