As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
