well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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