Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
home. puking in laundry basket.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
