Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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