It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
