Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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