great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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