We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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