Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize