I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
