im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
