So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Can I color on your dick again?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
