i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
