The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
pop tarts are not kleenex
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
