I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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