soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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