ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
