so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
