dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think i have two assholes
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
