So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
