I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
