Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
